NaNoWriMo

Each November for the past 11 years, a little non-profit organization has held a contest for all budding writers worldwide who are in desperate need of a kick in the pants to finish the greatest novel of our generation. Last year over 119,300 writers generated over 1.6 billion words during 30 days and 30 nights of literary abandon. Of those participating last year, 21,683 completed the minimum requirement of 50,000 words. This year, I will be jumping into the madness with a dramatic, epic novel with multiple storylines set in the times of ancient Greece.

  

Title: Seasons of Conflict

Genre: Fantasy

Synopsis: Helios struggles to keep his family together after his mother dies at the hands of Vesper during the Tiberian war.

Yes, there will be nymphs and goddesses. Yes, there will be alchemy and magic. Really there will be something for everyone! While I've written screenplays with multiple storylines before, plotting a novel that is literally twice the length of material that I am accustomed to writing (200 pages for a short novel vs. 100 pages for a screenplay) is proving to be a challenge. I'm not yet confident that a single plotline will hold enough interest for me to write let alone for an audience to read, and so I decided to tell four interweaving stories. 

Everyone has their own writing process, but I thought I would share mine. It's an electronic version of organizing a story with the use of scene cards. Across the top of the chart are each of the chapters, of which there are twelve. Below each of the chapters are the three acts to occur within. Each act has its own progression with every chapter ending with some sort of cliffhanger in the final scene. 

The main plot (A-story) is denoted by yellow scenes which primarily follows the arc of the hero. The B-story highlighted in green follows the villain. The outline is not yet complete and may not be by the time I begin to write on Sunday. This is a by-product of running out of time but also wanting to allow for creativity to occur during the process and not wanting the entire exercise to be writing scenes to connect the dots. I will likely write the first chapter in sequence and then write the rest out of sequence depending on which characters come to life and which scenes I am drawn to. With over 100 scene cards, I suspect I will be writing about 2 pages per scene, which is a pretty fast clip to move the characters through the scenes. 

I'm nervous and excited to get underway. I'll be back at the end of November with a link to the final product. 

Punchlines

So my hero in this story is kind of an alcoholic, smokes a lot. He's a Private Eye and he's got this once-in-a-lifetime case to solve for a wealthy attractive widow. However, I'm thinking this is all very cliche. So to make it fresh, to have us see something we've never seen before in a screenplay, I want to...

...have it all take place on a blimp. Yeah, I think that'll sell.

Ham radio

I miss Frasier. I miss great television. So I dug up this old episode of Frasier, which I digg and hope you do, too. Enjoy!

Punchlines

Dear Abby: On the top of my otherwise completely bald head is a single strand of hair about 5 feet long. I'm quite proud of my hair. It took me a long time to grow it. People say I should just give in to the inevitable, but I don't know what to do. Should I yank it or leave it? 

Slate

The following story has been submitted to the 2009 Slate short story competition.

It cracks me up every time I watch the cooking channel, and there’s some crazy BBQ contest winner gloating over his secret recipe. Some guy will go on and on about a dry rub that’s been passed on to him by his grandma, or another will be standing next to a smoker the size of a mac truck, but I know what’s what. Any recipe can be deconstructed to reveal its secret, and any guy with a smoker is compensating for something less in his life. 

What these cooks won’t divulge is what I’ve learned through practiced hands, glazing thousands of pounds of ribs and chicken in search of the perfect bite. Perfection is achieved when you create the exact ratio of sauce to meat. What cooks don’t understand about the science of taste is made up by relying on dry rubs and smokers. But they always fail. 

So when Aunt Mae passed on and left me this unassuming brush – this brush that I had seen her apply to Sunday dinner BBQs when I was growing up – I knew I had magic. Its ability to absorb sauce and then apply a consistent layer onto the meat is without equal. 

Each application of sauce is, in a word, perfect, making each bite that you take, sublime. 

There’s never been another one like it and it’s a shame not to keep it in the family. But you know how it is with kids these days: always wanting store-bought shiny things, even though they break after a week. No, I think it’s time. The brush belongs in a good home with a good family with good taste buds. 

Punchlines

"How many Western Double Angus Mushroom Cheddar Bacon Avacado Mushroom Cheddar burgers is it safe to eat for breakfast?"...

...asked the patient to the nurse, who replied, "Seriously?"