Limericks

Here's just some random Limericks...a throwback to those rhyming exercises in grade school.

There once was a Maennchen named Lenchen,
who won awards though failed to mention
his family and friends.
So, he made amends
and took them all out to a luncheon.

There once was a girl named Sabine,
who hadn’t a bone that was mean.
‘Til her evil doppelganger
stole her script with a hanger.
What’s next? No one knows. The hit job was clean.

There once was a writer named Mickey.
who found screenwriting to be tricky.
So he enlisted some aid.
No one helped. So he prayed.
Tried again after he had a quickie.

There once was a Doctor named Strange
Had a mind some say was deranged.
When the boards got too heated,
he’d stand his ground and then treated
the assholes to a vicious exchange.

There once was a girl named Palace
who on a visit to Dallas
She declared, “I hate carrots!”
to all the vegan zealots,
and they glared at her with malice.

There once was a boy named kepow.
For breakfast he milked a cow. 
The cereal was still dry.
He sulked and did cry
when he found he'd eaten puppy chow.

There once was a boy named Ben Hausler
who had difficulty finding his trouser.
Then, Gabe with resolution
found the perfect solution:
A pant-seeking trained miniature schnauzer. 

Punchlines

What's the deal with bottled water these days? The fact that they put vitamins in them is really a sign of laziness. I mean really... Is it that hard to pop a multivitamin and gulp it down with regular water?

Hey, those pills are big! You ever try to lift one? It's darned near impossible unless you're Charles Atlas or something.