Idle chatter

 “Hey Georgie, what's the deal with Benny?” asked Steve.

“Well, you had him last. What did you do to him? Last I saw him he was walkin' just fine,” replied George.

“Well that's a relief...I heard he was auditioning for the part of the donkey down in Tijuana! Maybe we should throw him a little party? I could hire a....”

“...sexy little burro and maybe a goat just for fun. See if that'll cheer him up! It'll be just like the old days, when...”

“…we would all go down to the "petting" zoo... Is he still there?”

“He said something about wanting to get paid today. Money's running low so I think he's actually putting work *ahead* of Punchlines. Da noive! Hey, maybe this will work...”  George paused and then called out, “Benny, youhoo, Benny? I'm feeling kinda randy...”

“He needs to renegotiate with his pimp. Maybe he is the subject of a new probe?” speculated Steve.

“It was rumored an alien probe, but I tend not to believe in such things. I do worry about him though.”

“Oh me too. That time he was running around with that steel worker guy? Those chaps were a bit much. You think we need to have an intervention?” suggested Steve.

“It didn't seem to work last time, but hell I'm game. I love him, man. But if it's all the same to you, would you mind setting it up?” asked George.

“No problem,” Steve thinks for a second, “You think I oughtta bring the goat just to show him everything's cool? Let's get him a gift too. Any ideas?”

George nodded in agreement. “Well, I know he likes gouda and I can whip up a recipe for a veggie lasagna that will leave him drooling. But why not, I think the goat's a stellar idea. Perhaps a year's supply of batteries wouldn't hurt, either. You know to go with the...”

“…six foot neon green necklace and matching fur boots? Good thinking! Should we sign him up for the parade?”

“To be in the parade? Nah. Like I said he was walking fine, but his arms have withered down to little stubs. I'm afraid he can't wave his hands or at least no one will be able to tell when he does. Maybe we can get him a prosthetic kinda like the one in the Fugitive!”

Steve jumped up and down with excitement. “I've got it! I have an old cardboard life size Michael Jordan cut out! We'll just paste those arms on old Benny and when he waves they'll go nuts! I can hardly wait to strap him atop some big float with those big black muscular arms. He'll be the hit of WeHo!!! You think he'll be off the drugs by then?”

“Oh god I hope not. I think he wouldn't be able to get through the parade without being high as a kite. Seriously the damn thing is like 17 hours long! By the third hour, I'm sure he's gonna start to get the shakes and...”

“…that's when we slip him a downer in some ginger ale. He'll be the star of the show and he won't even know his own name. Seriously, should we get your friend Raul to dress him up?”

George considered the idea briefly and then suggested, “In brilliant shades of rhubarb and guava? I'm not sure if the whole "fruit bowl" palette works on him. Perhaps you oughtta give it a shot, Steve. I'm thinking maybe a western theme would suit. What say you?”

“Hmmm…” Steve rubbed his chin, “I like it. Yep, we'll dress him up like Howdy Doody with the hair slicked back and the freckles! And I bet he'd feel like a real cowboy with a shiny little six shooter and some spurs! I'm feeling better about this thing all the time. You think this will raise his self esteem?”

“Perhaps, but I think we can do even better than a parade and a party with a goat and gouda…” George trailed off while continuing to walk down the hallway with Steve.

Punchlines

You know, a high-powered scope rifle is all well and good in Africa, but we are in...

...kindergarten and playing in a bouncy house. Do you really think that's necessary?