LA's Best Mixologist

Had the weather on Saturday not been bone-chilling cold, I might not have discovered some of the best tasting cocktails in Los Angeles. Some friends and I moseyed from the open courtyard of Hollywood & Highland and ventured into the Roosevelt Hotel.

I suppose all we were hoping for was to clink a pint or two of whatever was on tap, and as soon as the Library Bar opened, we stepped up eagerly to the long mahogany bar to find a panoply of colorful fruits, vegetables, herbs and spices.

I overheard Matt telling the other patrons that he had just brought these in from the farmer’s market that morning, and I filed that information away, but when I discovered that the only gin he pours is Hendricks, I knew we had found a special place.

As luck would have it, we were meeting other friends at another venue but we were eager to return later that night and so we did. I described my drink order: “I want something with lots of layers of flavor and with sage,” and Matt proceeded to measure, pour, tear, and shake in a way that harks back to the days of alchemy, the result of which was “Sage Heaven.”

The Sage Heaven is made with Hendricks gin with agave, sage, ginger, and cayenne pepper topped with blackberries. The one he served me varied a little from what is pictured, but until I update my camera phone, we'll settle with the photos taken from Matt Biancaniello's album on Facebook.

Ben ordered an "Old Fashioned," which was thoroughly updated with a twist. The whiskey was really smooth and light with an orange twist, which accented the taste nicely. Gabe had the refreshing "Melonette" pictured below.

Ken generally doesn’t drink but he does like his Bloody Mary’s, so Matt concocted his 17-Step “Mother Mary” which was the best tasting Bloody Mary I had ever tasted, as if you can taste an entire garden in one draught.

Probably one of the most innovative drinks Saturday night was "Lost in Laos" which Matt mixed up for Jason because he loves cilantro. It was particularly distinctive because it tasted what I would imagine it to be like in Southeast Asia. Matt describes it as a fusion of a Mai Tai and a Pina Colada and for me it was like taking an adventure through your taste buds. It's made with Hendrick's gin, curry leaves, keffir lime, cayenne, coconut milk, ginger syrup, green chartreuse, pistachio simple syrup and cilantro. The cocktail's subtle heat perfectly cuts the rich creaminess of the coconut milk and sweetness of the pistacio syrup.

The next night, Ken and I went back to sample the "Breeder's Cup," as a natural savory complement to the "Mother Mary." The cucumber highlighted the cool cucumber notes in the gin and the horseradish provided a nice bite to the finish.

Caroline On Crack's Bartender Mentor: Matthew Biancaniello from Efren Pardilla on Vimeo.

...while I had the "Last Tango in Modena" which was named among the Top 10 Cocktails in the US by Gayot, made with Hendricks gin, strawberries, balsamic vinegar and St. Germain foam.

Matt takes care not just to deliver a cocktail tantalizing to the palate but also to the eye with these visually stunning creations. Bravo Matt! for your achievements to date being named by Table 20 LA's Best Bartender and your continued passion in creating adventurous drinks for Angelinos to enjoy.



Punchlines
They really need to do something about this weather.
Perhaps we should scrap the whole idea of having weather in the first place.

Osteria Mozza

Italian food never tasted so good. I had the pleasure of dining this week at Osteria Mozza and I now know what all the hype is about. It was the kind of place in which you are tempted to order one of each, literally. Take for example the free-standing Mozzarella Bar. That's right! Nancy Silverton prepares a wide array of mozzarella, burrata, bocconcini, strachiatella along side prosicutto, speck, bacon and more. If there's ever a winning combination, burrata and bacon has gotta be it. Here's a rundown of what we ate that night:

Antipasti

Burrata with bacon, marinated escarole & caramelized shallot

Caprese with bufala mozzarella, oven-dried tomatoes & basil 

Primi

Ricotta Gnudi with chantrelles and spinach

Tagliatelle with oxtail ragu

Secondi

Crisp Duck al Mattone with pear mostarda & Brussels sprouts

Beef Brasato with polenta & horseradish gremolata

Dolci

Panna cotta vanille with fruit compote and nuts

Burrata with bacon, marinated escarole & caramelized shallot

Beef Brasato with polenta & horseradish gremolata

Punchlines

Grammy, I'm sick and tired of you calling me dipshit all the time. Why can't you be like other grandmothers and call me...

...my precious.

Let them eat cake

Turtle Tower Restaurant is a small mom 'n pop place near Golden Gate park. Located on Geary Street amongst many other Asian restaurants, the building is not a particular stand out, but the taste certainly is. The types of restaurants in this section of Geary are purists when it comes to the type of food they serve. For example, a Japanese restaurant explicitly wrote on a sign: NO SUSHI. NO TERIYAKI. This was to keep out the riffraff i.e., those who are accustomed to Westernized restaurant offerings. 

The place we visited made the distinction of serving only Northern Vietnamese style food which means you are served your pho without mint, bean sprouts, or hoisin. My friend recommended that I try #6 the pan fried noodle soup with fresh rice noodles, beef, leeks and carrots. It was a combination of smokey, tender flavorful goodness in a bowl. Definitely worth having seconds and thirds, I should think.

One drawback is that the restaurant closes super early in the evenings. We were the last customers to order food and were rushed out of the restaurant at 8:30 pm. Still it gave us an opportunity to head to Hayes Valley for dessert.

Citizen Cake has been around for years and I came across Elizabeth Falkner on a Food Network challenge a few years ago. Most recently she was on Top Chef Masters competing against others such as Rick Bayless, Ludo Lefebvre, Hubert Keller, Michael Cimarusti, Roy Yamaguchi, et al.  She's the author of Demolition Desserts and I have looked forward to a visit to her shop each time I am in San Francisco. On this visit we sampled the following:

• Retro Tropical Shag - Genoise cake splashed with rum and an exotic passion fruit mousse, covered in vanilla buttercream and carpeted with un-sweetened coconut.
• Mocha Mi Su - Layers of cocoa genoise cake, mocha mousse and crème fraiche mousse. Finished with chocolate ganache and coffee buttercream. 
• Pineapple Upside-down Cupcake - A tropical treat: lots o’ pineapple chunks underneath moist buttermilk cake topped with a passion fruit frosting & coconut
• Carrot Cupcake - Our delicious carrot cake topped with cream cheese frosting and a marzipan carrot.
  

Oh my!

Punchlines

I am so sick and tired of everybody complaining about hangnails today.
Well, excuuuuuuuuse me. Listen sister, that's a lot better than having a bunch of co-workers sing barber-shop quartet about whitlows.

Mise en place

It may be uncouth to be excited for today, but I don't care. I'm pretty psyched to spend my first day in a professional kitchen and helping to prepare for the dinner service tonight at Ludo Bites, which is referred to as mise en place. 

Mise en place is a French phrase defined by the Culinary Institute of America as "everything in place", as in set up. It is used in professional kitchens to refer to the ingredients, such as cuts of meat, relishes, sauces, par-cooked items, spices, freshly chopped vegetables, and other components that a cook requires for the menu items that they expect to prepare during their shift. Preparing the mise en place ahead of time allows the chef to cook without having to stop and assemble items, which is desirable in recipes with time constraints.

The concept of having everything in its place as applied to the work in a kitchen is likely to have become a staple around the time of Auguste Escoffier, who is well known for his development of the brigade system of running a kitchen. 

Post script: 

So newbie that I am, I forgot to bring my knives to the kitchen today but I did show up on time. I borrowed Eliot's exceptionally sharp knife and as I was preparing the mirepoix for the oxtail (to go in the creamy polenta with oxtail, black truffle and cantal cheese dish), I sliced the palm of my hand. But not to worry, because the next recipe I was prepping for was the boudin noir (a.k.a. blood sausage), chopping up pork back fat, onions, apples, and garlic. Talk about putting in your blood, sweat and tears into your work! Haha. Rest assured. None of mine made it into the recipe.

We had a mid-afternoon break when the Breadbar staff needed to wash the kitchen floors and settled in the front-of-house where I met with the rest of the kitchen crew working that night, a young efficient bunch who were passionate about food. So much so, that one remarked that all they seem to talk about is food when they get together. What they've eaten recently... What kitchen utensil they've purchased... What restaurants they've been to... and so on.

The hum of activity continued soon thereafter, with each person assigned to parts of the menu to tackle from cleaning chanterelle mushrooms, whipping up frosting, assembling the lobster tarte, cleaning and grating celery root, or in my case, plucking leaves off a dozen stems of hyssop (at least I think that was the herb) and scraping clean six dozen organic baby carrots, which appeared to have stained my hands. 

All in all, working in a professional kitchen is a wonderful experience. Without a doubt, it is back-breaking work. So, anyone considering a culinary profession better have passion for it, and if you get a chance to train under a creative genius like Ludo, jump on the chance because it is well worth it.

 

Punchlines

So what's with the provocative song titles these days? You Put Something Inside Me. I hate Christian Rock. WTF is next...?
Jesus Fills Me Up? I mean come on already! 


So Tuesday night at George's, huh? 

OMG OMG OMG

Photo by Wesley Wong of TwoHungryPandas.com

Stop what you're doing. If you're mid-sentence trying to capture your life's moments in a 140-character status update on Twitter, put the crackberry down and run... don't walk... to Breadbar on 3rd Street in Los Angeles. 

If you've been following along, you'll know that my friends and I were eagerly anticipating our dinner at Ludo Bites which has been featured since mid-May through mid-August at Breadbar. It exceeded our expectations and so I strongly urge you to try it while you can. 

While we pretty much ordered one of each item on the Ludo Bites menu, I can really only take you through a sampling. Here are some highlights of my taste experience:

• A warm bowl of chorizo, cantalope and cornichon soup...deliciously creamy but light and smokey with a hint of sweetness when you bite into the glassy cubes of cantalope... 

• Then, there was the bowl of creamy polenta with earthy black truffle shavings, slowly braised oxtail and a hint of nuttiness from cantal cheese...

• Finally, there was the exquisite vanilla panna cotta bathing in a luxurious caramel sauce and topped with salty black caviar.
  

My mouth was very happy with me last night. Shouldn't yours be happy, too?

Until then follow @chefludo on Twitter or check out his website. 

Punchlines

The last party was a complete snore, I tell ya. I think next time I'm gonna line up shots of tequila in the entry way and...

...nobody will be the least bit surprised. At George's house, this is called Tuesday. 

Ludo Bites

One of my favorite things to do is eat. No kidding. And one of my favorite foods to eat is basically anything Ludo prepares. Ludo Lefebvre started cooking at the age of 13 and trained under some fairly impressive chefs in some prestigious three-star Michelin restaurants in France, including Marc Meneau at L'Esperance, Pierre Gagnaire, Alain Passard at L'Arpege, Guy Martin at Le Grand Vefour who then recommended him to the owners of L'Orangerie in Los Angeles, where he was executive chef in the late '90s. Yeah, he's pretty awesome as far as chefs go, but for me, he has a knack for combining unusual flavors and spices together that your palette experiences so many sensations while you taste his food. 

Tonight, some friends and I will be gathering at BREADBAR which features Ludo Bites. Just as last time, I'm pretty much going to defer all menu decisions to Krissy, who happens to be pretty fabulous in her own right (attorney, model, celebrity TV star). I'm beside myself this morning, just anticipating what tastes are to come this evening. Here's just a sampling from a recent menu:

Chorizo with Cantalope and Cornichon

Green Beans Salad with Peach, Coconut, Apple Horseradish and Lemongrass 

Bacon Tart with  Almonds, Petite Basque Brown Butter, Coffee Chantilly

Heirloom Tomato Salad with Red Onions, Feta Mousse and Olive Powder

Baked Snails with Herb Butter, Spinach Curry Yogurt

Lobster Medallions with Honey Sherry Vinaigrette Rosemary

Creamy Polenta with Cantal Cheese, Oxtail Beef and Black Truffle

Foie Gras Terrine with Black Croque Monsieur with Cherry

Cod Onion Soubise with Grilled Chanterelles, and Balsamic Kumquats

Pork Belly with Potato Vadouvan and Mustard Ice Cream

Spaghetti Carbonara with Santa Barbara Prawn Sage

Grilled Beef Tenderloin with Smoked Eggplant, Goat Cheese, Shallots and Chives

Cheese Board with housemade Condiments

Vanilla Panna Cotta with Caramel and Caviar

Chocolate Cup Cake with Foie Gras Chantilly, Candied Bacon, Almonds and Maple

Organic Strawberry, Wasabi Mascarpone and Pistachio Parfait

If anyone is in Los Angeles, stop by Breadbar on 3rd Street before August 22nd which is the last day of Ludo Bites.

Punchlines

I need a second job just to help make ends meet. Unfortunately, I have no salable skills whatsoever, which means I will have to resort to...

...elective office in Washington DC.

Luscious Dumplings

I am beside myself with anticipation for today's culinary adventure. You see, I am finally going to to pay a visit to Luscious Dumplings in San Gabriel. For those who are not aware, I have written a short story about Luscious Dumplings, but the story has nothing to do with the restaurant at all. 

The idea came when I was having dumplings with a group of friends at Din Tai Fung, the dumpling house in Arcadia. Bryan happened to mention that he preferred Luscious Dumplings and while we all filed that recommendation away in our memories, we dwelled instead on how hysterical was the modifier "luscious" to refer to "dumplings." In fact, we thought it bordered on something salacious. I think Iris in fact suggested to me that I ought to write a story about Luscious Dumplings, and I agreed. 

I wanted to try my hand at writing a comedy piece and given my limited training on the craft (read zero), I tried to think of opposites and juxtaposing diametrically different ideas and situations together. I searched my memory for amazing moments in cinema history to glean what were the most riveting and dramatic scenes. The first one that came to mind was the final court room scene in A Few Good Men in which Kaffee thunders away at Jessep on the witness stand. I thought to myself how ironic it would be to hear someone argue vehemently about something as trivial as "luscious dumplings" and thus the idea was born. Check out Luscious Dumplings, my first attempt at parody. Then check out Luscious Dumplings, the restaurant. 

Luscious Dumplings

704 W. Las Tunas Blvd.

San Gabriel, CA 91776

+1-626-282-8695

Punchlines

I took an inventory this morning and have come to conclusion that my most cherished possession is...

...a lock of my first love's hair. Well, not exactly a lock actually. More what you'd call a scalp.  

Yo quiero Taco Bell

In honor of the passing of Gidget, the iconic chihuahua which uttered the phrase, "Yo quiero Taco Bell," I would like to take a moment and describe my childhood fondness for Taco Bell. Back in the day, there were warring factions between fans of Taco Bell and fans of Del Taco. I wouldn't say blood was spilt over this... well, maybe salsa... but we did have to make separate food runs when hunger pangs struck, which was often. 

By the way, for those who didn't know... in the futuristic action movie Demolition Man, Taco Bell is the only fast food company to survive the Franchise Wars. As a result, the only restaurants left have all become Taco Bells. 

The international version dubbed over Taco Bell and replaced it with Pizza Hut, but you get the picture. It's a campy enjoyable movie that has a lot of silly memorable quotes.

My all-time favorite item on the Taco Bell menu would have to be the Mexican Pizza. I haven't eaten it in a bazillion years, but I am tempted to make one soon. Yeah, I said make one and not buy one. Here is a recipe I purloined from the far reaches of the internet.

Taco Bell Mexican Pizza

Ingredients

• 1/2 lb ground beef
  
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
  
• 1/4 teaspoon diced minced onions
  
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
  
• 1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder (Spanish is best)
  
• 2 tablespoons water
  
• 8 flour tortillas (6 "inch")
  
• 1 cup cooking oil
  
• 1 (16 ounce) can refried beans
  
• 1/3 cup diced tomatoes
  
• 2/3 cup mild picante sauce
  
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  
• 1 cup shredded Pepper jack cheese
  
• 1/4 cup chopped green onions
  
• 1/4 cup sliced black olives
  

Directions

• Get a skillet pan and place it over medium heat. Heat the ground beef and cook it until completely brown. Drain all excess oil.
  
• Keep the beef in the pan. Add the chili powder, onions, salt, paprika, and water.
  
• Stir and simmer for about 10 minutes.
  
• While it's simmering, get a small frying pan and pour a little of cooking oil into the pan. Put it on medium heat. Place a tortilla into the pan, frying it for 30 to 45 seconds. Flip it over and fry that side for 30 to 45 seconds. Pop any bubbles that forms on the tortillas. You'll want to make sure that it always stays flat. Remove from the pan when it's golden brown and drain on paper towels. Repeat this step for each tortilla.
  
• Cook and heat the refried beans in a separate pot. At this point also, you can go and preheat your oven to 400 degrees F.
  
• Grab one tortilla shell and spread a generous amount of beans on it. Scoop up some meat and then place another tortilla shell on top of the meat.
  
• Pour about 2 tablespoons of salsa on top of the second tortilla. Spread cheese, onions, and tomato on the salsa.
  
• Place the completed Mexican pizza in the oven for about 8 to 12 minutes.

 Tips

• You can eliminate any topping you wish to your taste. Instead of the salsa, you can make a jumbo meat/bean pizza and place the desired toppings on top as usual.
  
• Use flour tortillas instead of corn because corn tortillas tend to become a little chewer.
  
• If you don't want greasy tortilla shells, spray a little PAM or any other non-stick spray instead of using cooking oil.
  

Prego!

Punchlines

My eggs are...

...square and not oval as is more traditional. I was born that way.

Try the goat

In London, excellent curry places abound owing to the fact that England is the fifth largest Indian diaspora, following Indian communities in Nepal, US, Malaysia and Burma. 

While Los Angeles is an ethnic melting pot with just about 1 in 3 persons being foreign-born (40.3% in 2005), the Indian community is surprisingly not very well represented, and thus the food served in restaurants cater more to Westernized palettes. 

While many may point east to Artesia for restaurant recommendations, the Westwood corridor offers a variety of solid options:  Ambala Dhaba (if adventurous, try the goat), Bombay Cafe, The Clay Pit, New India Grill and Bombay Bite. Gate of India in Santa Monica and Balti House on Sunset are apparently very similar to Indian food found in the UK and coincidentally are located near English pubs that cater largely to British clientele.

For a broader listing of Indian restaurants across Los Angeles, Gayot has a listing worth checking out as well as Chowhound. It was in the Chowhound listing that I felt comfortable suggesting Curry House on Lankershim in NoHo or Great India Cafe in Studio City to my friend Shannon who has been eager to have some curry following my recent posting about Balti curry on Brick Lane. Such is the power of suggestion. If that doesn't pan out, I did manage to buy a small jar of Balti curry at Fortnum and Mason while in London, which I may prepare this weekend with goat. I kid. 

Punchlines

OY, vey. I got all verklempt when that schmuck of a doctor told me I had...

...no Jewish ancestry whatsoever. OY vey what a schmuck.

Macaron

If you flip to the page in the dictionary as you look up the word sublime, these little cookie sandwiches are likely pictured. While macarons date back to the 18th century court of Versailles and were served to royalty, the double-decker macarons sandwich with a sweet pastry cream center are the invention of Laduree, of which 15,000 are sold each day to the masses. We sampled four flavors: rose petal, coconut, sea-salt caramel, and chocolate. This experience has got to be the culinary highlight of our trip thus far, but I am also holding out for Pierre Herme on Saturday as well as Poilane.

Among the cultural highlights would include a brief visit to the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa, Venus de Milo, Winged Victory of Samothrace, and Psyche and Cupid.

We also visited the cemetary at Pere Lachaise to visit the graves of Oscar Wilde, Moliere, Marcel Proust, Frederic Chopin, Honore de Balzac, Eugene Delacroix, Sarah Bernhardt, Jim Morrison, and Richard Wright.

Punchlines

Don't you hate it when you leave your house in the morning, you wonder whether or not you've forgotten to...
...feed the puppy? Or even the baby? God, it's true what they say about pot. I gotta quit living alone and find someone to share the burdens.

Yep, there it is.

I'm joking. Well, not really. For those of you who enjoy leisurely travel, I will probably drive you bananas. You see, I am the type of traveler who will power through a city in a half day and take in a dozen sights just to capture it on camera. I used to be that way. I'm a little better now. But the first day in Paris seemed to be a prime example of regressing to my former mode of travel.

I was climbing the walls waiting for conference calls and emails to end, just to see the Musee d'Orsay which was open until 9:45 pm on Thursdays. Luckily the champagne and pastries kept me preoccupied for some time, or else who knows what I would have done. If left to my own devices, I suspected we could have hit...

L'Arc de Triomphe

Le Tour Eiffel

Musee d'Orsay and have dinner at Cafe de Flore, without issue.

We didn't make it to the museum, opting instead to climb the stairs to the first landing of the tower to take in the views of the Seine

Invalides

I think I've gone soft or something. But dinner in Saint Germain des Pres is never a bad idea, especially when your waiter happily tolerates foreigners and you soak in the atmosphere of sitting in a cafe where Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir once dined.

Punchlines

Men Without Hats must surely be the strangest name for a band. Unless you consider...

I dunno. Slippery When Wet comes to mind, but also Moebius Stripper, Nixon's Smoking Banana and Spontaneous Grape.

Hurry curry

I've no idea what took so long before we had our first curry in London. Oh, right, all of the various wedding related activities featured food and so it wasn't until our final night in London that we sojourned to Brick Lane upon a friend's recommendation to try Balti.

Until recently, I didn't realize what this particular dish was and apparently it differs from a regular curry in the method of preparation and presentation. In the last ten minutes of preparation, the contents are cooked at high temperatures in a distinctive flat-bottomed wok which gives the dish its name: a balti. The fresh spices, herbs and chillis added during the final stages of cooking make it flavoursome and colourful.

We chose to sample the dishes at Standard Balti House in East London and tried an amazing mulligatawny soup and vegetable samosa starters, then a lamb tikka curry as well as a chicken balti dish with naan and rice. OMG! I am drooling just thinking about it now. Luckily, there were leftovers.

Anyway, this was a wonderful way to top off a lazy day in which we didn't manage to leave the hotel until the tea time. Then we hauled ourselves across town to Oxford and Regent streets to windowshop at Liberty, Savile Row (particularly Kilgour) and Jermyn Street (especially Floris).

Next stop: Paris via Eurostar.

Punchlines
"You know, people are always asking me...
...if they can milk me. If it's in the morning, I'm generally amenable to it. But otherwise it can be rather annoying," says Crossword.

Bits and bobs

To those from Blighty, "bits and bobs" are what we from America call "odds and ends." Such was the day spent criss-crossing London from lunch at Wagamama a noodle shop south of the Thames and ending the day in the Ritz-y corner of Green Park and St. James Place at the Red Lion pub at the end of a cobblestone Crown Passage.

In between, we wandered mostly in Surrey touring the Globe Theatre in its third reincarnation as well as browsing through the most curious displays at Tate Modern.

The "soap on a rope" was the standout for me on this visit. But of course, I always manage to find and enjoy the recent works by one of my favorite artists, Jeff Koons.

Punchlines

I'm thinking of attending a new screenwriting-made-easy class that's being held next month at the local Super-8... for $800 (per day for three days) I get to learn from a "world class" award-winning writer who has come up with a new methodology. It's a little steep in price and I'm not exactly sure how that new 15-act structure plays out, but what really worries me is...

...their insistance on writing the part of Gerard Depardieu in each and every script.

Soho House

On a brief trip to London in the winter of 2005, I was invited to celebrate a French director's 40th birthday at Soho House. It was packed with sparkling people that weekday evening and naturally I had a fabulous time. I didn't think twice about the visit until I met up with some work colleagues the following day. When asked what I did the previous evening, they looked at me chartreuse with envy that I had already had drinks at Soho House. It seems it is a private members only club which began in 1995, which is still trendy as it has traded on its exclusivity, particularly amongst the entertainment crowd. Their stunned looks reminded me of the phrase: Membership has its privileges.

Well just this morning I decided to take a gander at their application just to see what it cost for such privileges (£600 per annum, in case you were wondering) and amongst the questions asked are:

What is your favourite bar?

What is your favourite restaurant?
What is your favourite hotel?

What makes you laugh? (approximately 10 words)

How do you think your friends would describe you? (approximately 25 words)

You know they say there's probably no right answers to these, but I am pretty sure there are wrong answers.

What is your favourite bar? Hard Rock Cafe
What is your favourite restaurant? Denny's
What is your favourite hotel? Holiday Inn
What makes you laugh? redneck jokes
How do you think your friends would describe you? conservative, dirt poor, gun-loving SOB

All kidding aside, Nick Jones the founder of the Soho House and its sister establishments around the world indicated in an interview, "We have 14,000 members worldwide, 55% are men, 45% are women and the average age is about 33. 75% of them work in media-related industries." He has helped to make members only clubs cool once again. In fact the concept has traveled across the pond, with a New York club and a soon to be LA outpost on Sunset Blvd as well as Miami and Chicago.

By the way, if anyone asks for me while I'm out, tell them I'm having lunch at Soho House this afternoon.

Punchlines

Where did I put my common sense? I swear I had it just the other day.

It'll show up eventually. Meanwhile, I say, sit back and enjoy your rare sense.

How good's your Alibi?

Alibi Room is the permanent home of Kogi BBQ. It is a totally and completely cool lounge in its own right. Great vibe. Great looking bartenders. Great drinks. They even stock Hendricks Gin, which has forever changed my life. 

The maestros behind Beechwood and The Brig in Venice did a complete makeover on Alibi Room. Formerly, it featured a well-worn pool table circled by cigarette smokers who donned Allman Brothers concert T-shirts without irony. Now, the Alibi has a dramatic, lacquered wood triangular bar, a gallery of wry, formalist photographs of swimming pools along one wall, a trim sofa-by-the-fireplace conversation nook, sake and wineglass storage suspended from the ceiling and a menu featuring Kogi BBQ.

Last night, I met up with some friends after work and sampled the Kogi Breakfast Burrito with hashbrowns, eggs, cheese, and short rib as well as the Kogi Sliders with cheese, sesame mayo, and short rib. Dee-lish. Of course, later we cleared our palettes with something sweet at Yogurtland! Sure it may be a little out of the way, but it is well worth it. Check it out some time.

Punchlines

An honest day's pay for an honest day's work. That's what they told me. And it sounded right. Fair, you know? However, I'm now older and wiser, and I've found...

...I'm better off with an honest day's pay for an honest day's shirk. I learned that from Dub-ya.

I heart Yogurtland

I don’t understand the appeal of Pinkberry. I never have. Friends and loved ones have dragged me there over the years and I always pass. It’s tart in an unnatural way. If I wanted something tart, I would have Greek yogurt. Something real. But if I’m gonna splurge on the calories to eat something resembling soft serve ice-cream, it better taste like ice-cream and call itself yogurt. Capiche?

A few weeks ago, my friend Shannon introduced me to Yogurtland. Such a superior flavor profile I tell you. Not only that, but their yogurts do contain active live cultures: S. Thermophilus, L. Bulgaricus, and L. Acidophilus. Sounds like a Latin playbill, doesn’t it? As for the calories, they range from 96-132 calories per ½ cup (84 grams). 

Why is Yogurtland better than Pinkberry? Yogurtland offers:

• 12 choices of flavors instead of 2
  
• fresh fruit toppings and dry toppings galore
  
• 30 cents per ounce, so you don’t feel ripped off paying $5
  
• self-serve yogurt and toppings so you get exactly what you want and how much you want
  

My current flavor combination is: peanut butter, coconut and Dutch chocolate with peanuts, coconuts, and sliced almonds.

They are currently located in California, Hawaii, Nevada, New York, Texas and Arizona. I wrote them to see if they would open one up in my house soon. I’ll keep you posted.

Punchlines

Why is it last but not least... it totally must be least... sorry but someone had to say it.

It came from the theatre: an introduction often on stage indicating that the person announced last is no less important than those introduced earlier. But clearly they are, otherwise they wouldn't be last.

Gastronomy + Public House = Gastro Pub

While “brasserie” brings forth images of bustling tables laden with onglet, moules, gratin and the like, and “trattoria” evokes bottles of chianti and fresh taglietelle served family-style, the "gastropub" gets off clean, relatively free from these long-standing connotations regarding décor, menu and service. This is largely due to its lack of history. It was a mere 15 years ago that The Eagle introduced the concept to London diners with a straightforward, creative, seasonal menu and true pub setting. It was certainly not the first pub to serve good food, but was the first to advertise as a “gastropub.” 

In 1995 came The Fat Duck in Bray, England, now famous for Chef Heston Blumenthal’s experiments with molecular gastronomy and retro English fare (not to mention its three Michelin stars). The Eagle hit the nail on the head, and started an enduring trend; today there are almost 100 gastropubs listed in Time Out London, as notable for their cheeky names as their creative menus of English and French cuisine.

The first Michelin starred stateside gastropub, The Spotted Pig in New York’s West Village, opened in 2004 to rave reviews for both its food and its ambience. The cozy, inviting atmosphere of dark wood and eclectic décor is paired with a small but well-crafted and accessible menu, making for a neighborhood spot that thrills locals and draws pilgrims from as far as the Upper West Side. 

In 2006 Chef Ford opened Ford's Filling Station in LA, aiming for a similar combination of a comfortable pub-like attitude that serves exciting, seasonal food. Chef/proprietor Ben Ford trained at the California Culinary Academy then worked at Chez Panisse under Alice Waters (my personal hero) as well as Campanile, Opus, and The Farm Beverly Hills.

I first became aware of Ben Ford through the Food Network. I happened to watch a Food Challenge competition on sandwiches and the creations he turned out were truly inspired: Lobster BLT, Tuna Nicoise Sandwich, and Roasted Lamb Sandwich. When I found out he had a restaurant in Los Angeles, I immediately went to check it out. 

Visit #1: Polenta Cake - pearl onions, mixed mushrooms, blistered tomatoes, and truffle mascarpone cheese

Visit #2: White Shrimp Flatbread - rosemary flatbread, white bean hummus, meyer lemon, and arugula; 3-cheese plate

Visit #3: Goose Rillette - micro rocket greens and whole grain mustard; Butterscotch Pudding with mascarpone cheese

Visit #4: Pork Rillette - micro greens and whole grain mustard

Tonight once again I was reminded as well how Hendricks Gin is meant to be served: Cucumber Martini anyone? Cheers!

Punchlines 

If the winds of change blow, is it safe to fly a kite? 

Oh absolutely. In fact, it would appear that they fly all the time, regardless of the wind conditions. At least I think so - my boss is telling me to fly one all the time.

Kogi BBQ

Tonight my friends and I went to Burbank to sample the Twitter hype that is Kogi BBQ. That's right. The taco truck of Kogi BBQ catered tonight's philanthropic event for Gina Alexander, to raise money to help better the living standards and emotional welfare of abused children in the Philippines.

Judging by the photos on their website, I planned to sample a trio of tacos: spicy pork, spicy BBQ chicken and Korean short ribs (pictured above).  

Palace was the first to arrive, and she not only held spots for the rest of us, she also made a new Kogi BBQ buddy, Mike. We got the skinny from Mike on what to order, and we mapped out our strategy. Apparently, you could only order three tacos at a time, and so we each went for the trio in Round 1.

#1 Kogi beef short ribs

#2 Kogi spicy pork

#3 Kogi spicy chicken

At this point I was feeling pretty good, but I started to cut back on the fillers (if you will), avoiding consumption of the double corn soft tortilla shells. Mike disagreed favoring the "complete experience." Some followed his strategy; some followed mine.

#4 Kogi beef short ribs

#5 Kogi beef short ribs

#6 Kogi beef short ribs

I was starting to feel like I had reached my capacity, but I was damned if I wasn't gonna get my money's worth ($20.75 for all-you-can-eat) and so I forged ahead, ignoring the signals my stomach was transmitting to my brain. Stop you idiot! 

#7 Kogi beef short ribs

#8 Kogi beef short ribs

#9 Kogi beef short ribs

By this time, I was breaking out in meat sweats. My eyes could barely focus two feet ahead of me. I hunkered down and cut out all extraneous fillers: double layer of corn tortilla and the dressed cabbage slaw. Shannon, Kyle and Mike dropped out by this point. Admittedly, however, Mike made a valiant effort since he wanted to have the full taco experience and ate not just the beef filling but also the cabbage slaw and the shell. On the other hand,  he did wuss out and had 2 tofu tacos - not the same Mike, not the same.

Palace and I were the only ones left standing. We looked at each other and headed for the taco truck to place our orders.

#10 Kogi beef short ribs

Palace bowed out on the brink of a food coma.

#11 Kogi beef short ribs

I finally reached my goal of eating $22 worth of Kogi BBQ tacos, although at one point I think I snorted some of it because I was laughing so hard at how ridiculous we all were, me especially.

Good times.

The Kogi BBQ and Gina Alexander philanthropic event takes place every month on the last Thursday of the month. Join us although next time I promised Gina I would eat less to leave more profit for the cause.

Punchlines

At this moment, what would you say is the happiest part of your body?

Well, let's see now. Certainly not that big old zit from this morning - that's history. Okay - I would have to say toenails (final answer Regis). 

Not your average que

Memorial Day through Labor Day marks the season for BBQ and while most of us will indulge in backyard grilled hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, ribs and the like, my friends and I were inspired to have Korean BBQ (KBBQ). 

Our usual stomping ground in Los Angeles is ChoSun Galbee on Olympic in the heart of Korea town. However since we were behind the Orange Curtain (the O.C.), our friends suggested Morangak in Garden Grove. Until now, I had been touting the virtues of ChoSun Galbee to anyone within spitting distance. I have even have taken friends with whom I had dined on BBQ in Seoul (surprisingly, not called Korean BBQ there), and they agreed that ChoSun Galbee was the best they've had from both sides of the Pacific. Move over Chosun Galbee. Morangak now holds that special place in my heart. 

Our hosts ordered our usual faves: the marinated kalbi (which is a well-marbled beef short rib bathed in deliciousness) as well as the beef bulgogi. Even the chicken, which I seldom order as it is much too lean and tends to overcook, was amazing. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have your server diligently tending to the grilled meats, which were cooked to perfection. 

What is wonderful about KBBQ is that in addition to the platters of meat that are freshly prepared in front of you are the freebies: an army of side dishes called "ban chan" that are supplied to you gratis. You can snack on spicy kimchi, cellophane noodles, salad, chill fried tofu, spicy cucumbers, broccoli, pickled daikon, and miniature pancake omelettes. Chase down your dinner with a bottle of Hite beer served in chilled glasses, and I suspect you too will begin a new BBQ tradition. 

Next up: Kogi BBQ, a phenomenon sweeping Los Angeles, where my friends and I will be chasing dinner supplied by a roving KBBQ taco truck.  Exact location and times can only be confirmed via Twitter.

Punchlines

But I do love music. In fact, at my funeral I hope the following is played (real loud)...

..."The Heat Is On" by Glenn Frey.

Am I drooling?

After watching the sneak preview of Terminator Salvation at Mann's Chinese Theatre, several friends and I ventured across the street to the Roosevelt Hotel to sample 25 Degrees renown premium burgers. 

Perhaps it was Chef Daniel Boulud who redefined (and, may I add, repriced) burgers for the foodie by introducing a burger with foie gras, truffles, confit, short ribs braised in wine, tomato and horseradish on a semolina bun with parmesan and served with pommes souffles. That is still on my list of dishes to sample when I venture back to New York this year. These so-called premium burgers are all the rage these days and once you've had one, you'll understand. Father's Office in Santa Monica features a fabulous blue cheese burger as does The Counter also in Santa Monica.

Upon the recommendation of our server, I chose the Number Three burger which is a medium rare sirloin burger topped with mezzo secco jack cheese, green chile, chipotle, and avocado with a side of onion rings. Wow.

Try it some time if you happen to be in Los Angeles.

Punchlines

Frankly my dear, I don't give a...

...coupon for your next visit, nor do we validate parking. This is a brothel.